Funniest jokes Compilation

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.

More Jokes

Repeat That, Mate?

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

Recording on an Australian tax help line

Steven Wright on Language Tapes

I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.

Steven Wright

The Unathletic Camper’s Baseball Glossary

Baseball bat: a wooden or 
metal bar that can easily fly out of someone’s hands.

Foul ball: a moment when you think, Holy @#$%, I got a hit!

Babe Ruth: someone who people tell you was also overweight.

Right field: a quiet place…READ MORE

Friendly Competition…

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more.

A Priest, A Minister, A Rabbi And A Bear

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds 
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him …READ MORE

Film Plots, Badly Explained

Choosing a movie? Don’t trust these extremely abbreviated plot 
explanations.

• The Shining: A family’s first Airbnb experience goes very wrong. @janmpdx

• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry…READ MORE

What An Ugly Duck…

My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat 
circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”

The hunter …READ MORE

No Bedside Manner

I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. “This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure,” the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, until … “Heck,” he continued, “you have 
a better chance of dying from the 
…READ MORE

A Fly-Killer’s Pickle

My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, 
I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.

…READ MORE

Michael Ian Black on Mom’s Best Dish

When I was growing up, my mother’s best dish was store-bought Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies.

—Michael Ian Black, 
from Navel Gazing (Gallery Books)

Aged To Perfection

The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.

“How old are you?” a tenant asked.

“I’m 81 years old…READ MORE

If You Need Something Done Wrong…

“Next time I send a damn fool, 
I go myself.”

—Sgt. Louis Cukela, reportedly said at the 
Battle of Belleau Wood during World War I

Who is better Marvel or DC Universe

it is hard to tell but there are few facts.....

The studio structure

Marvel Studios, lead by the ubiquitous Kevin Feige, is a subsidiary under Marvel Entertainment. Since 2009, when the Walt Disney Company acquired Marvel Entertainment, Disney can now use all its divisions (consumer products, television, etc.) to promote a Marvel film, which ends up raising the Disney stock.

DC Entertainment is under Time Warner. Both Marvel and DC Entertainment reported about $6 billion in licensing revenues (in 2011.) However, as DC does not have a separate production house away from Warner Bros., the numbers include big mainstays such as Harry Potter and The Hobbit. In contrast, Marvel’s separate division can use all its marketing forces to promote the latest superhero film.

The Dark Knight | Source: Warner Bros.

The movie themes

In DC Universe films, superheroes such as Batman and Superman seem to carry all the weight of humanity on their shoulders — and they broodingly act out that way. Christopher Nolan’s version of Batman is the darkest superhero adaptation on screen. Batman goes through whatever dubious means to catch a villain such as the Joker; audiences have also noted the political undertones in the reboot trilogy.

Marvel films tend to take on a lighter note. The heroes are ultimately virtuous and shining rays of hope — even with wild playboy-types like Iron Man and Star-Lord. Both characters often lighten the mood, joking around in the midst of action. Even Captain America, who isn’t exactly a Marvel class-clown, is never ruthless in his quest for justice. Batman or Superman? Not so much.

The Avengers | Source: Marvel Studios

The storylines

Marvel has a continuous, cohesive world both on the page and on the screen. The “Marvel Cinematic Universe” began in 2008 with Iron Man. He, among film-adapted superheroes including Captain America, the Hulk, and Thor, appears in The Avengers (2012). A similar cast appeared in this year’s Avengers: Age of Ultron. The continuity also transfers to the small screen with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a Netflix series.

DC has yet been able to build a cohesive universe on screen, although Warner Bros. has been in the early stages of talking about wanting to do so. The hit CW show Arrow depicts the origins of Green Arrow and also features other DC Comics characters, including numerous Batman villains. The two movies Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad will be the biggest attempt at a “DC Cinematic Universe.”